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2100 years and 3 days ago, the pompous [land] pirate, Emperor Wu of Han, Wu Di, died of natural causes.

However, Wu Di was obsessed with immortality. So, right before he died, he ingested the scrotum of a bull – filled with pearls – soaked in the vomit of a magician buddy – who insisted that’d do the trick.

Well … Betta Late Than Neva!!!!!

Everyone help me in congratulating Wu Di for finally completing this miraculous feat!!!

Enjoy eternity, Wu Di! Say Hello to Jesus for us!!!