SOPHIE What’s the matter old, young looking man?
PISTOSI I think I might be at least part human.
PISTOSI Because, I don’t feel that I’m meant to be alive for this long.
SOPHIE How so? Are you in pain?
PISTOSI Not of a physical kind. Every day is more disappointing than the last. I feel as though I’m wearing down into an idiot.
SOPHIE Oh, I can make you feel better about all of that.
SOPHIE You already are the lowest type of idiot imaginable. So, accept that. Then you can be at peace knowing that this “wearing down into an idiot” which you’ve been imagining is merely an idiot’s miscalculation. It is not possible to be a lower form of idiot when you have already reached the bottom of the canyon.
PISTOSI Thank you for amusing me. However, you should know that canyons grow deeper with time.
SOPHIE Is that so — oh great idiot?
PISTOSI It is so … gradual that I’ve thought at times my memory mistaken. But, after thinking I was mistaken enough times, I’ve come to believe that I wasn’t mistaken after all.
SOPHIE Guess what, you idiot?
SOPHIE If the process is as gradual as you describe it — then it’s hardly worth noticing.
PISTOSI Easy for you to say. You will never know how eternity feels with the thoughts of an olive.
SOPHIE Sounds nice, actually.
PISTOSI Perhaps. Once I’m thinking like an olive, I won’t mind it so much. Yet, I still cannot say that I’m looking forward to it.
SOPHIE Have you heard about this idiot: Socrates? I overheard him leading a group discussion yesterday, and it made me sad for you.
SOPHIE Because, you don’t even try to be useful to mortals.
PISTOSI Have I not been useful to you?
SOPHIE One person? Do you think I’m worth all of your time?
PISTOSI Of course you are.
SOPHIE You don’t really believe that. You’re just passing the time with me.
PISTOSI I do believe it.
SOPHIE Then, you really are an idiot, Pistosi.